Why Being Yourself Might Be The Most Difficult Thing You Will Ever Do

Being yourself is the hardest and most important journey a person would ever embark on. At some point in an individual’s life, there comes the question of where his loyalty should lie. Should he choose his individualism or rely on the society for direction. This conflict reflects itself in the smallest of decision as in the most important ones as well. If you are like most people, you most likely have wondered why it is so difficult to hear your heart speak or even follow it. 

Man is a social animal, the most social of all other animals. In fact, his ability to interact and even put other human beings in his decision-making process is what differentiates him from most animals. In every culture, the child has, at certain periods, been viewed as merely a pathway to adulthood. At these times, the child does not have personhood or identity. It only exists for the sake of becoming an adult, and consequently the individualism of the child is hardly harnessed. 

In African practices, the child was raised, not by its parents, but by its community.

The child only becomes an adult, not when he has learnt to master itself but when it has learnt how to be integrated into the society. The people performed ceremonies such as the passage of right and other festivals like circumcision and orgies to landmark these periods. The child, by then, has properly integrated with society and so it has become an adult, perfectly capable of making decisions that would further the cause of society. 

The society is an organization - a single unity with various other sub- organizations - men and women separated by religion, family and a lot of smaller elements. These sub-organizations come together to form the arms of the society - the larger organization. Somehow, i would compare the mechanism with the way the body works. Cells, which I would take to represent individuals, are brought together to form tissues, and then tissues come together to form organs and then a group of organs form a system. This is who the body works - different conglomerate functioning on different levels. If you look at our society through this lens, you would realize that allowing the smallest taint of innovation or creativity or individualism might break the chain of mechanism. In this context, creativity and individualism is a form of rebellion. 

Perhaps this is why conservatives see unconventional creativity and innovation, perhaps, as an act of anarchy. This is why every human being who has contributed to the development of their society first had to suffer at the hands of other more conservative people. Innovation requires a form of rebellion. To be creative, you are bound to think out-of-the-box and focus more on your individualism. You must be driven with the intense craze to carve your own path. This desire alone incites criticism or even hate from others. You become a threat to the civilization that man has invested his rigidity on for so many years. 

Fela, the pioneer of Afrobeat, certainly earned a reputation for being the black sheep of his family when he was sent to London to study medicine but instead decided to study music as early as 1958. 

Veteran comedian, Ali Baba, has revealed that his father disowned him when he made a decision to become a comedian for a living. 

One of Nigeria’s most controversial entertainers, Charles Oputa popularly known as Charlie Boy or Area Father was disowned by his father, a one-time Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of Nigeria, late Chukwudifu Oputa. 

All of this shows that the prize to pursue your individualism might be too grave to pay. It brings an alienation from the closest people around you. Celebrities such as Lindsey Lohan, Jennifer Lawrence, Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Demi Moore, Owen Wilson, Johnny Depp have all been known to suffer loneliness. In today’s society, the prize to pay for thinking-out-of-the-box is lenient - the life of a creative is generally isolated. In the past, some men have been put to death for daring to think in a way that seems to alter societal progress. 

However you should not let this deter you if you find yourself struggling between your individuality and sticking to societal expectation. Yes, it is hard as is anything that would worthwhile in your life. In the next post, I would discuss why it is necessary to hold on to your individuality and how you can do so.